Mother “Sacrifices” Herself
The L.A. Times story is by a pediatrician about a mother who died after refusing to endanger her baby with treatment for her own brain tumor.
To our astonishment — and joy — the comatose woman “hung in” until the 28th week. At that point, an ultrasound showed the fetus was probably over the 2-pound mark, and her doctors scheduled the caesarean. Gasping for air, the child was born at a size and weight that would give her a fighting chance of life.
via Mother-to-be sacrifices her chance of surviving cancer for her baby - Los Angeles Times.
If you didn’t click through to read the whole thing the extremely abridged version is this: Pregnant woman has an agressive brain tumor which needs treatment. That treatment would probably injure or kill the unborn. Woman refuses treatment for the baby’s sake. Amazed doctors argue. Woman lapses into coma. Father is steadfast until baby has a good chance of survival. Two pound baby delivered by C-section. Woman gets treatment, dies after regaining consciousness and seeing the healthy baby.
The Secondhand Smoke Blog had this:
The headline described the young woman as a “mother to be.” That is flat-out wrong: She was already a mother, which was why she decided that her baby’s life was most important.
This is a beautiful story of a Mother’s love. So beautiful that it’s a shame that I’m so annoyed about it. The author of the L.A.Times piece is a pediatrician. Here are a few choice bits of hers:
Even I, who had chosen to study pediatrics because I loved children, reluctantly acknowledged that the woman’s care was the medical priority. Wouldn’t I — wouldn’t everyone? — opt for life-saving intervention for myself? Wouldn’t we all yield to the natural instinct to survive?
You “love” children, huh? You’re the pediatrician, the baby is your patient. Doing no harm to that baby is your job. That baby’s health is your job. I’m glad the mother had her wits about her because that baby didn’t have another advocate in the room, and that was your job. When you love, you sacrifice, and in this case you can’t even manage to imagine sacrificing. Are you so certain that killing an unborn baby is such a natural instinct?
The baby responded by clasping her mother’s outstretched finger, bringing tears to her parents’ eyes — and ours. The new parents didn’t need to know that the grasp was an involuntary reflex; to the young mother, it was a sign that her baby had felt her love.
Here’s a clue for you, Doc. This mother didn’t have any confusion about Love being a warm fuzzy feeling that you get when a tiny baby curls its fingers around yours. If you think she traded her life for a few seconds of warm fuzzy you’re sadly confused.
I gave a silent thanks for her miraculous survival where it was due — to her mother.
She was standing right there. Why would you keep your thanks silent? Unless…
This kind of stark choice where one person sacrifices her life for the other is, thankfully, a rare occasion. We don’t see women making this total sacrifice of their lives for their children often. This mother’s single choice serves as an exaggerated black and white illustration of every mother’s stream of everyday choices:
sleep or baby’s crying?
clean outfit or baby’s breakfast?
status car or minivan?
Aerobics body or mothering body?
Latest fashions or wash and wear?
These aren’t all-or-none decisions and none of them are final, but my point here is that the sacrifices made for the good of the baby are totally normal. They happen all the time, they are natural, and we don’t think that they’re so amazing.
In fact, I don’t find the mother’s final choice of self sacrifice all that surprising, she reminds me of Saints Gianna and Mary.
