Inedible Ink

Paul Shirley has been cut from the Suns NBA basketball team and from my reading list. One of those two things is going to cost him $750,000. Paul wrote an online journal (don’t call it a blog, that’ll only make him mad) on NBA.com that was good enough to get him some attention in the press. Now if the athlete - author could just get similar attention on the court.

Also deleted from my reading list is author - athlete George Plimpton’s Paper Lion. Paper Lion is considered the pinnacle of sports literature, albeit the winner in a one-horse race. George Plimpton tried out with the 1963 Detriot Lions in an undercover exercise in participatory journalism for Sports Illustrated. In ‘63 Bob Uecker was a second year catcher with the Braves, still a ballplayer, and not yet the joke known as ‘Mr. Baseball’.

In ‘63 George Plimpton worked out with the Detroit Lions.

The apex of George’s football career was his losing yardage on 5 consecutive snaps in a intrasquad scrimmage. That’s a far cry from getting paid to play in the NBA as Paul Shirley just did, but since the Suns just told Mr. Shirley something like “We think we can find a more cost-effective way to warm that little section of bench you’ve been minding for us.” perhaps the chasm between their respective athletic gifts is one we can fathom after all.

I don’t know if Paul Shirley is familiar with Plimpton’s work… maybe the more recent body of work would be familiar to the young ballplayer from Kansas.

George appeared in an episode of The Simpsons as host of the “Spellympics” and had a recurring role as Carter’s grandfather on ER, then there was that ‘Good Will Hunting’ role.

I never really understood Plimpton before reading this book. From the vantage point of my childhood sofa circa 1980 he was like the Rainbow Afro Guy that held up John 3:16 signs, he was just a guy with an inexplicable knack for getting on TV. He seemed to be offering up some permanent kind of self-deprecating satire without a particular self worthy of all the attention.

Plimpton was a participant, not a parody. The crowd that watched him call plays in that Pontiac, Mi. scrimmage determined that he must have been a clown sent in by Detroit management to lighten the mood and amuse the fans. The truth is a much more difficult thing to bear. He trained and studied for weeks, he did his best to succeed and he looked the fool for it. What’s worse is that he did that to bring a true sense of being a football player to his reader. He was calling plays in that huddle on my behalf, he stood eye to eye with a professional defensive unit bent on his destruction and humiliation because you and I have never had the chance.

Thanks to the magic of the written word and Paper Lion I’ve been able to call out ‘hut three‘ and feel the ball smack against my hand. It makes me wonder what it’s like to be an NBA player, and hope that Paul Shirley or someone like him gets a chance to tell me.

From Salon.com

June 29, 2005 | FALLUJAH, Iraq — At 7:30 on a dusty evening June 13, a convoy of U.S. Marine vehicles headed east on Fallujah’s main road and signaled for a vehicle in front of them to pull over. The driver waited for two Humvees to pass by, and then, as a lightly armored, seven-ton truck full of 20 Marines rolled past him, he accelerated and detonated his explosives, igniting the fuel tank and setting the truck ablaze. Five Marines and one sailor were killed, and 13 wounded, but the bombing made international headlines because three of the dead and 11 of the wounded were women. It was the deadliest attack on female U.S. soldiers in American history.

Members of India Company, 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines, had arrived at the scene within minutes of the attack”

Short version: Don’t bother.

Extended version: Don’t bother, unless you’re an avid cultural economist, a pop sociologist or you were just about to start re-reading an old copy of Megatrends. And one more reason to pick this up today: if you’ve been participating in conversation about the merits of the chapter entitled “Where have all the criminals gone?” you’d best actually read that chapter.

Book summary: Money talks, it tells some wild stories.

In truth, I really did have fun reading Freakonomics. Dubner is a fine storyteller and Levitt is most likely a genius. I read it in two hour-plus sittings and didn’t hesitate to pass it on.

So, why the “Don’t Bother” pan?
One.) An underlying premise to the book is, just ask questions then get out of the way when the economic numbers start telling their story. The harder someone tries to convince me that they’re an honest conduit for the unvarnished truth the harder I look for BS.

Two.) It’s just a haphazard collection of stories about study done by economists. Would you seriously have gone looking for that before this title hit the Best Seller lists?

Three.) That clever Appleskin-Orangeflesh cover image is STOLEN.

Four.) Dumbass title. At least they didn’t name it “Extreme Econ 101″ or “Pimp your Economics”.

Five.) I’m about to insult you, so skip to the next paragraph - really. You can’t handle the chapter about the supposed abortion-parenting-crime link called “Where have all the criminals gone?”. (Think Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men” “You want the truth?! You can’t handle the truth!“) No, I don’t know if you’re pro-this or pro-that, but I’m still sure you’re not up to it. We’re all pretty attached to our own particular stance on abortion and we’re all queued-up to defend that stance. Well, this chapter isn’t about abortion, but you’ll miss that fact, I’m quite sure, because it is about the crime that wasn’t committed by the folks that weren’t born after Roe v. Wade. So, if you read it, you’re more likely to come away from that reading with something inappropriate and unhelpful regarding abortion than you are to glean something valuable about crime. In the end, that chapter is insidiously useless while still being a fascinating read. If you agree with the conclusion, that murderers and rapists were not born and raised due to Roe v. Wade at a higher rate that the population that was born anyway, you can’t use that to support a ‘choice’ position without also suddenly supporting Eugenics. You also can’t use this chapter to support a ‘life’ position try though you might.

You didn’t skip ahead, did you? Serves you right.

Six.) You haven’t read John Allen Paulos yet.

Submitted by: 2nd Marine Division
Story by Lance Cpl. Paul Robbins Jr.
CAMP MERCURY, Iraq (June 2, 2005) – Visits from a chaplain are positive encounters for Marines in the field, but it’s even better when the chaplain is a friend of the family.

Army Col. Donald L. Rutherford, the chaplain for the Multi-National Corps Iraq, traveled here, June 2, to get “eyes on” the contributions of the Chaplain Corps with an infantry battalion and catch up with the battalion commander, Lt. Col Andrew R. Kennedy.”

“It was incredible to see someone who knows your family, to talk about the past and update them on how everyone is doing,” said Kennedy, a native of Mt. Vision, N.Y.

Rutherford was a parish priest at the church and local Catholic school where Kennedy’s family lives in Oneonta.

East Valley Tribune | Daily Arizona news for Chandler, Gilbert, Tempe, Mesa, Scottsdale:
“The death of Mark Steven Perchinsky, 34, was ruled accidental and was caused by a head injury after chronic alcohol abuse, said an investigator from the Maricopa County Forensic Science Center.

It’s not unusual for people who suffer from alcoholism to die when they fall and strike their heads, the investigator said, adding that the blood of people who suffer from complications of liver disease tends to clot abnormally.

Police found Perchinsky’s body at 4:05 p.m. April 12 near a staghorn cactus after a helicopter and officers searched for him for about a day, a police report states.”

The Killer Cactus accused in an earlier entry on this blog and earlier newspaper reports offered no comment and is, apparently ‘getting on with its life’ after this terribly sad and misunderstood event.

This blogger has nothing but honest sympathy for the family of the deceased, but is unrepentant regarding it’s hardnosed watchdog coverage of the cactus among us.

3/4 tests robotic machinegunner

Story by Lance Cpl. Paul Robbins Jr.
>In-Depth Coverage
FALLUJAH, Iraq (May 20, 2005) — The M240G medium machinegun sent a hail of bullets downrange, leaving accurate groups as it adjusted between three different targets, and behind the weapon…there was no gunner.

The system is operated by a remote hand device connected to the platform by a 20 to 100-meter long cable, allowing the gunner to operate the weapon from a covered and concealed position.

“The system is easy to operate,” said Lance Cpl. Diego A. Morelli, a 22-year-old mortarman with Weapons Co. “It’s just like playing a video game.”

The original “Pitiful Custard under hairdryer” shot took heavy losses in early exchanges with enemy kitten pics. He retreated to a more defensible position where he currently has slightly more wins than losses.

Custard the Elder in his native habitat

Reinforcements were sent in in the form of “Custard in the Hayloft“. Early successes went unchecked until Custard’s Hayloft shot found itself in the crosshairs of some very cute enemies indeed. Again, the margin of success over failure is slight.

Awaiting orders for deployment to the theater is “Custard Sandwich“, a recent picture of an orange kitten believed to come from the line of Custard.

Senior administration officials rejected the call for a kitten withdrawal timetable, citing instead a commitment to the spread of democracy and an unconditional victory for the forces of the free world and civilization.

Lance Cpl. Paul Robbins Jr.-2nd Marine Division

FALLUJAH, Iraq - Marines have the responsibility of providing security here, and cultural sensitivities are a major concern for the Marines of 3rd Battalion, 4th Marines, Regimental Combat Team 8.

Female Marines have taken on a critical role in the Regimental Combat Team’s mission in an effort to show respect for the Iraqi culture.

The six members of Female Search Force, in support of RCT-8, occupy entry control points throughout the southern sector of the city.”

Portia has issued a challenge for me to answer these five questions. A meme to the blogosphere is a thought transmitted like a the common cold passed on by a friendly handshake. She has “tagged ” me. I am “it”. When I’ve answered the questions, I can run around spreading disease like a day care center.

What is the total number of books you have ever owned?
Ever? How many zeroes in a gazillion? OK, OK , all at one time then. I currently own something like 1,500 books give or take.

What is the last book you’ve purchased?
State Of Fear by Michael Crichton
was purchased to be given as a gift.

Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt, Stephen J. Dubner was for me.


What is the last book you have read?
Paper Lion : Confessions of a Last-String Quarterback
by George Plimpton

I’ll post on George’s tryout with the 1965 Detroit Lions later. I’m about 2/3 through it.

What are five books that mean a lot to you?

Shogun by James Clavell
I was just a gradeschooler when I read every one of its 1210 pages. I guess the action, adventure, and occasional asswhupin’ didn’t need much help but the steamier bits ensured my undivided goggle-eyed attention.

The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin by Benjamin Franklin
From the summer reading list prior to ninth grade, when I read every single book from the pick-one-of-these-11-books-list. This Founding Father kept me in stitches for a week of reading by flashlight.

Don’t Shoot the Dog! : The New Art of Teaching and Training by Karen Pryor

The Good News according to Karen. I’m not that “in to” dog training, just ask my dog, but this is one of those books that can change your outlook on behavior, human or otherwise, desirable or otherwise.

Man’s Search For Meaning
by Viktor E. Frankl

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom

In a tie for the number four spot are two holocaust survivors’ memoirs that both offer a great deal of hope. The hope is in different things, I warn, but hope all the same.

To pick a “book” from the Holy Bible instead of the whole thing; The Gospel of John has had the greatest effect on my life, has been the most challenging and most interesting and I have given it the most study.

The annual family vacation has come to an end, so then does my two-week hiatus from blogging. Before travelling I did set up email blogging, audio blogging, mobile photo blogging and every other kind of posting you’d dare think to do with a cell phone, but I did not consult a T-Mobile coverage map.

That is where we spent the last two weeks, right in the middle of T-Mobile’s “try-a-pay-phone-and-a-quarter” coverage area. Sorry.